Sen No Yoru Wo Koete
by ANBUFury
Summary: It rips at his chest, not being able to say it, yet he's just as happy as ever to be near him, and even if it takes forever to have the chance to tell him how he really feels Renji will be able to wait.  Warning: Contains Yaoi


_**AN: Hello again. Well this is for a pal of mine that is very much in love with this paring. I did this for her as an X-mas gift. Not to mention I was listening to the song Sen No Yoru Wo Koete, quite a bit and this idea popped in with it. So here ya go. I'm still learning how to write these two, so please forgive me if they're a little out of character. **_

_**I don't own Bleach or the song Sen No Yoru Wo Koete. **_

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><p><em>"I love you." <em> Three words. Just three simple words that he could say in private alone, laying on his futon at night, his brown eyes looking up to the midnight black sky, that reminded him so much of his captain. _"I love you." _

That phrase had been trying to slither out of his mouth for a while, but he'd always stopped it or was a stopped. One time it was thanks to the orange haired substitute shinigami (Which Renji was a hair close to actually turning into a _real _shinigami.) , another a drunken Matsumoto that pulled him away from the office when he could have spent more time with Byakuya, and then there was just him self. Three simple words that he could repeat over and over, but still carry so much doubt.

"Dammit all." His large hand came up and covered his eyes. "Like he would ever return the feelin'." The Rukongai dog growled rolling away from the window, choosing to ignore night sky, like a noble could love him. The thought of Byakuya never returning his feelings made Renji's own chest burn.

The red haired male wasn't sure when it was that he fell asleep, but he did and soon after a night of tossing and turning the morning came and he found him self being woken by the sun light coming in through his window. His mind was still groggy as he sat up, then stumbled slightly as he stood up. He tugged at the braid keeping his long mane back and out of the way as he slept. Shedding his pink sakura blossom yukata he quickly dressed in his uniform and then pulled his hair up into its usual high pineapple inspired style and lastly he tied on his bandana.

The day felt fresh and very much like spring. Wild life had returned to the seireitei after the rather chilling winter. Strong sakura trees had begun gaining their blossoms, in thick amounts to. The sent of them filled the area around the Sixth division almost to a dizzying amount. Granted that wasn't bothering Renji, the only trouble that he had was that this did not help his mind drift away from his affection for his captain what so ever.

Now the bright burning sun hung in the distance, it was noon Renji was guessing and he'd been stuck in his chair all day working on paper work, only able to steal small glances over to his captain. Renji sighed and looked out the window, a few cherry blossoms danced past and Byakuya spoke for the first time (aside form work related matters) , "Do you want to join me for tea out side, Abarai?" Renji looked up to Byakuya's desk and saw that he'd moved and was now standing in the corner of the room, making a pot of tea to share with Renji.

"Hm, I-I mean yes Sir."

When the tea had finished brewing they each took their own glass and made their way out on too the porch. "The scenery today is rather relaxing."

"Yeah. It is."

They sat like that for a while, exchanging small talk before Byakuya commented once again on the lovely day. "You seem rather tired today, or more entertained today, Arabai."

"Oh, I don't mean to." Renji scratched the back of his neck, "Just uh, a-a little distracted."

"I see." Byakuya sipped at his tea and Renji felt thankful in hoping he wasn't going to ask-,"May I ask what is troubling you."

Renji nearly spit his tea back into the mug. "Oh, it's really nothin' that important, More then likely it'd just bore ya."

The noble quickly caught on to the sudden change in dialect that came from Renji's mouth. "If it doesn't bother you then why did you fall back into your Rukongai drawl?"

_"Stupid accursed tell!" _Renji cussed mentally. "I well," Renji scratched at the back of his neck again, this time a warmth was there. The same warmth was making its way along his face, appearing lightly on his tanned skin, "Well...There's somethin' I wanna tell someone, but I just don't know how ta go a-about it..."

"I see, would getting to say it help?"

Renji was suddenly wishing and hoping that Ichigo, Matsumoto, or some other mood ruining shinigami would burst in right now. No such luck. "I-I don't know, I mean its n-not that important..." _"Any time now, I know one of you has __**got**__ to be about to show."_

"Arabai, you've been on the same piece of paper work that only requires a simple signature and looking over for the past twenty minutes, and before then you took another half hour staring at a mission report. If this issue is going to be such trouble that you can not do your work I would suggest you say it." That ended sounding very familiar to an order and Renji knew that he was backed into a corner. It was really now or never.

"How do I say this?" Renji asked this to the porcline tea cup. "K-Kuchiki-taichou...I-I sorta, wel l not sorta, more of I know this for a fact, Kuchiki-taichou I..."

"Are thinking of transferring?"

"No! Gods no, never." Renji said this nearly dropping his tea cup. "I spent all this time tryin' ta get close ta ya no way I'd wanna leave ya." Renji paused. Did he just say that out loud?

"Is that your way of asking for a rematch?" Byakuya quicklyed asked, so yes, he did infact say that out loud.

"Y-Ye- No." Renji sighed. _'I've waited this long, I'm not gonna lose the chance.'_ Renji licked his dry lips, swallowed his pride and straighetned up. His chest was pounding so much that he half expected to lurch forward with every single beat. The nice cool spring day felt even warmer then it had moments ago. "Kuchiki-Taichou," He pulled in a deep breath, held it, then let it go along with his words, "I am postive that I, I love you."

There was a pause, a long, uncomfortable and antangoniseing pause between the two. The assistant captian (or possibly former assitant captian) prepared him self for the worst out come, which of course would be rejection. On top of loseing his title, getting sent back to the Eleventh, never getting to be near Byakuya again, _"Oh Kami-sama what have I done!" _He growled.

The moment came to an end when Byakuya stood and walked past him, not a word said, nothing. Renji stood up him self, using the wall as support, unsure of his own two legs under neith him. He slowly walked in to the office to see his Captian behind his desk, pen in hand and filling out paper work. "S-So are you g-gonna say anythin'?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything! Do you know how long I wanted to say _that _too _you_!" Renji, made his way over to Byakuya's desk. "I love you, those words were freaking poison to me. I never thought I'd actually say them to ya and now that I have I think ya would at least have somethin' to say back."

"Abarai." Renji braced him self. Byakuya's voice was cold, in defeat he closed his eyes, preparing to hear him reject him, but then he heard movement. Renji paniced that he was going to attack him, but chose to stay as still as possible...

...Untill two arms wrapped around him, gripping tightly at the fabrick wrapped around Renji's back, "I believe sometimes they say that actions speak louder then words?"

Renji smiled and pulled Byakuya closer. "Yeah, they do."

Now laying on his back, looking up at the midnight black sky Renji smiled, his mind freely drifting to his captian who was now also his lover.

He was _his._ Renji no longer felt the weight of doubt on his chest and knew that his feelings were returned and hearing Byakuya's voice saying that he'd felt the same as Renji was a lullaby the Vice-captian could surely fall asleep to.

_Suki na hito ni wa suki tte tsutaerunda...(I will say I love you to the one I love)_


End file.
